High Sensitive Coaching

How to Thrive as a Highly Sensitive Person

What all HSP’s have in common

There are a lot of articles online about what HSP’s are and what not, 10 things all HSP’s do, 10 things that HSP’s struggle with, 10 things HSP’s love to do. Travel tips for HSP’s, how to deal with your relationship as an HSP… All those kind of articles assume we are similar and there is this one way to deal with the specific topic. 

And if you have just found out that you are an HSP you probably have this deep need to find out more about the trait, is this part of it, or not? 

I encourage you to read as much as you want, but do keep in the back of your mind that there is also some misinformation out there and sometimes it is hard to see if it is good information or if you’re being summarized through a filter of the author. 

So what is the most important thing to keep in mind? 

There is only one thing that all HSP’s have in common and that is what Elaine Aron describes with the D.O.E.S. acronym. 

  • Depth of processing
  • Overwhelm
  • Emotional responsiveness and Empathy
  • Sensitive to Subtleties 

All the other things that can bother you, that you struggle with, that you find challenging, or you don’t like doing, diseases, disorders, literally everything, can be different. 

Sure, we sometimes hear that another HSP does the exact same weird thing as we do, but that does not mean that all HSP’s do that. Even our sensitivity to subtleties can show up very different, not all bodies are similar. Some have more sensitivity to sound, others more to touch, or lights. 

It varies greatly per person. You simply cannot say: all Hsp’s do/need this. For instance, most HSP’s are animal lovers, a lot like cats, but there are also dog lovers, and I know you can even find HSP’s that don’t like animals at all. 

There is so much more besides the acronym D.O.E.S. that creates who we are. The D.O.E.S. it is only one part of you. Maybe a big one, but nevertheless only one part. You have our own personal identity that is unique. We all have different experiences growing up, the type of friends you have, how many friends you have, how your parents treated you growing up. This all colors who we are. All of the experiences you have had until now influence how you react to situations, what your behavior will be. 

Not to mention so many other personal factors that create who you are, are you an introvert or extrovert, a High Sensation seeker and so many other traits. They all influence what you like what you don’t like, what you struggle with and what you find easy to handle. Even though you will find more recognition in another HSP than in a non-HSP, there are still lots of differences. 

Having said that, you can still get value out of the articles I mentioned, in each one of them you can find recognition, validation or even solutions that work for you. Just know it might not necessarily be an HSP thing exclusively. 

Often articles are written from a perspective of the writer, based on their experience. (Yes, mine included) Maybe they are also working with Hsp’s, and see certain behavior or habits more that others, but they still attract the people that they need to grow personally, so we are coloring our own experience. 

I strongly believe that for each of the quirks or challenges we have, we need to find our own personal way of handling it in a way that works for us, so what works for me does not necessarily work for you. It might, but it can also work against you. So understanding how you react to things, what challenges you often have, what triggers you, self awareness is key to creating solutions. So read as much as you can find, then create your own path!